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Racing Round Up - Spring/Summer 2023

Updated: Jul 3, 2023

Ciao tutti, and welcome to another edition of the Muckle racing round up. As usual, a fragmented and jumbled effort, that in no way does justice to the prolific Muckle exploits going down week in, week out. To be fair it always proves quite hard keeping track of what everyone gets up to– especially now I’m in my yacht era and spend so much time mincing about at sea.

I was going to write up a seperate little feature which included a review of a local beauty salon I’ve been getting my legs waxed in. I remember a conversation at a Muckle AGM a few years ago about leg shaving – Matty Smith in particular, who was absolutely smashed by the way and fell asleep sitting at the bar shortly after, was keen to know all the details of people’s various leg shaving routines and techniques. I used to use a razor on the whole leg and switch to an electric shaver/clippers for the areas covered by shorts. Unfortunately, I found I was getting some ingrown hairs, (only in one area on the back of the thighs) and shaving was exacerbating the situation. The advice was to stop shaving and start waxing. I have to say I have found the results quite pleasing, and I enjoy my little visits to the beauty salon and having a natter with the lasses whilst they work. 100% they’re ripping the piss behind my back though. Anyway, that’s it in a nutshell - hope this helps break the taboo for any lads who might be having a similar issue but are to scared to speak up. And, if you want a waxing buddy to help you for your first time, then hit me up, we’ve got to stick together in this.

Jonathan Cairns currently 10th in the N&DCA BAR. Photo by Bryan Laycock

This year again, the largest part of the action has been in the time trials, with a strong team of Muckles getting great results in every race. Star performer of the season so far must be Lois Jarvis who has won every Northeast race she’s entered meaning she has maximum points in the women's league for the N&DCA BAR competition.

Some other noteworthy performances In no particular order - Alex Milne was 4th at the Barnsbury TT, 3rd NTR TT, 2nd at the Team Kirkley Cycles TT, and he also became Age Group Long Course Triathlon World Champion when he got the win in the race in Ibiza in May. I have no clue about the murky world of triathlon, but it sounds impressive! Unfortunately, he’s recently been in my dm’s with some Bob Graham Round chat... careful with that stuff bonny lad, take it from me - it can really get in the way of playing on bikes!

Darren Robson is having an outstanding season - 1st V50 and 4th overall, 17 seconds off the podium at the GS Metro Andy Mallen memorial time trial, 4th at the TKC 10mile TT, 6th at the NTR TT, 10th at the Blaydon TT, 2nd at the Tyne & Wear Fire and Rescue M12S, 4th at the DCC M40. And he’s still setting pb’s - just 16 seconds away from the magic sub 20min 10mile TT with a 20:15 at the Kent Valley RC time trial in June. At the time of press he's currently 3rd in the BAR and 2nd in the vets BAR

Darren Robson (above). Lois Jarvis (below) Photo by Bryan Laycock

Hugo Story has been cleaning up in the road bike category again, winning the Houghton CC TT in June as well as the NTR M50 race, the Tyne&Wear Fire and Rescue TT, and the Blaydon CC 2 up TT , with partner James Shaw. Marcus Cram had a great ride at the Blaydon CC TT on the M12s course around Stamfordham - winning the road bike category and coming 7th overall. John Bowman was 2nd at the Veloculture M13 TT in June, adding to a good run of top 10’s. Just imagine if he was actually taking it seriously, and not mincing about on mountain bikes full time. Adam Pinder was 1st overall at Derwentside CC's club 10, where we also had a 1, 2, 3 in the road bike category with James Shaw, Mateusz Mazik, and Andy Smith.

We're also leading in the team competition with Darren, John, and Johnathan, and with Colin, John, and Darren, second in the vets team competition as well, where we should also take the lead when John completes one more qualifying race. The closest competition coming from other Muckles, means we should have these in the bag - last won by the club in 2018 (according to Muckle historian and obscure race results fanatic Colin Atkinson)

In the crits and road races, Richard Davidson got a win over at Carlisle Cycling Circuit in May, adding to a strong run of podiums and top 10’s. Mateusz Mazik has bagged a 3rd and a 5th place finish over in Carlisle, and he also came 2nd in the cat 4 race at the Hetton crit earlier in the year. On the same day Lee Cuthbertson sprinted to 2nd in the 234 race. In the womens race Katy Denham came 2nd and Natalie Lye was 4th

Joe Curran(above) Grace Inglis (below)

Meanwhile in the XC mountain bike racing Joe Curran came 2nd in round one of the National Cross Country series in Tong in Yorkshire, he was 4th in round 3 in Matterley, 2nd in round 2 of the Scottish XC series, and 5th in round 1. Grace Inglis had a really strong ride and took 3rd Elite XCO in the British National MTB Series on July 2nd. She's got a few great results actually, but I cannit work out what because she hasn’t changed any of the ride titles on strava from "Morning Ride" (such a flex, TRUE hitter). Daniel Moore won round 1 of the NEXC MTB series at gypsies green in South Shields, got 2nd place in round 2 at Hetton, another 2nd place at round 3, and 10th at round 2 of the National XCO series in Margam Park Wales.

A big group of Muckles took to the start line of the Dirty Reiver, which looked horrific by the way. Standout performance goes to Andrew Berry, who completed the full 200km course in 11:30 riding a 1980s steel framed road bike that he’d borrowed from his mum the week before. Apparently he absolutely loved it, even the experience of descending on his 1st gen Ultegra brakes which he described as ‘the closest thing I’ll come to racing luge’. Well done lad, proper Muckle ride, proper Muckle mentality.

Finally - big shout out to OG Muckle Michael Noble who joined the ‘keepers of the cloud’ club and successfully everested Hedley Hill in May – climbing 30,250 ft over 150 miles in 14:38. The club really got behind him, and he was joined by various Muckles on just about every one of the 70-odd reps he completed. Chapeau bonny lad. Obviously everesting is a mega achievement, and proper hard graft, but if it earns you an outrageous comment on Strava from James Turland (barbwire glove originator) then it only makes it even more worth while.

He might have just smashed out an everesting, but never forget Mickey Noble raced Prospect Hill last year in Birkenstocks.. wat kind of a knacker turns up at a race and forgets their shoes eh?

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